Issue #202: I've Had Insomnia My Entire Life—Here Are the Changes That Finally Helped Me Sleep (!)

Plus my full wind-down routine.

🎥 ‘Jane Austen Wrecked My Life,’ available to rent: In this film by French director Laura Piani, Agathe works at a bookstore in Paris (Shakespeare & Co!) when she is accepted to a writing residency at Jane Austen’s estate. Things take a Pride and Prejudice turn when the rude, but handsome (our Mr. Darcy) great-great-grandnephew of Austen picks Agathe up in England. A charming movie that may not be worth the $19 I paid to rent it, but I’ll never say no to an Austen adaptation, however removed from the source material it may be.

📚 Long Distance by Ayşegül Savaş: When I began reading this new collection, out today, I mistook it for a novel and fully expected the first, titular story about a young woman’s anticipation around her long-distance boyfriend to visit, to continue. Instead, Savaş dives into other stories of connection and distance—a pregnancy that wedges between a friendship, an exchange student who lies about her host, old friends on a trip together. My mistake turned out to be a happy surprise. I savored each story, reading one per night, thoroughly enjoying the places they brought me and their fully imagined characters.

📺 “Smoke,” on Apple TV+: I nearly stopped watching this new miniseries, based on the true story of an arson investigator and detective who are after two arsonists (it’s based on this podcast!). At the urging of a friend, I kept going and am so glad I did—without giving away too much, the third episode, which came out this past weekend, includes a twist that makes the show far more engaging.

P.S. I’m bringing back Morning Person book club this month! Our July pick is Lost & Found by Kathryn Schulz. We’ll be chatting July 22nd at 5 PM PT. You can RSVP to our Zoom chat using the link below! x

I’ve slept poorly my entire life. In college, my body was so wildly out of rhythm that I regularly went days without sleeping and, as an adult, I’ve experienced every kind of disrupted sleep—trouble falling asleep, waking in the middle of the night or far too early in the morning, fully sleepless nights. I’ve also tried every solution under the moon. In high school, I spent the night at a sleep specialist to rule out possible physiological interruptions. I’ve taken all kinds of sleeping pills and THC tinctures that knocked me out but left me so groggy, and found brief respite after paying to see an expensive sleep specialist who specialized in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Insomnia. Most things helped, until they didn’t, and the crazy-making cycle of sleep deprivation would begin again. All this is to say that I can hardly believe I’m typing this, but I’ve been sleeping deeply and consistently for the first time in my life, since making a few minor and maintainable changes.

Of course, the foundations matter—like turning off screens at least an hour before bed—but they’re only the beginning. If you’re not sleeping, I can’t tell you how sorry I am. I know how horrible it feels, which is why I dove deep in this post to share all my tips for getting sleep, including:

• The three changes I made that made the biggest difference

• My complete wind-down routine, including how (and why) my boyfriend and I go to bed at different times

• 9 small changes to consider, when nothing else is working

• The product that helped me sleep more deeply overnight, and expensive-but-worth-it sleep headphones for travel (there are no affiliates or sponsors here—just genuine recs!)

• Everything I bought for my complete bedding overhaul, including the pillow, duvet, and organic mattress I bought after obsessive research

• The nightly supplements I take to support my sleep

If you’re reading this, I’m assuming that you already know the basics, and are tired of people asking, “Wait, have you tried not looking at screens?” Those foundations do genuinely make a difference—I stop looking at screens by 8 pm (see my wind-down routine below!) and very rarely drink alcohol (even half a glass of wine makes me wake up in the middle of the night). But here are three less-obvious changes that have made the biggest difference for me…