Issue #138: A Guide for Turning Around Bad and Blah Days

How to get out of a funk (really).

Morning Person is a weekly newsletter packed with obsessively-curated recommendations and ideas—let’s get to it!

📺 “A Gentleman in Moscow” on Paramount+ and Showtime: When a Russian aristocrat is sentenced to imprisonment in the luxurious Metropol Hotel in Moscow, he maintains his spirit by creating an entire world within his confines. This adaptation of Amor Toweles’s beloved novel stars Ewan McGregor and his real-life wife, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, as an actress he has an affair with. From the first two episodes and my memory, at least, this is a faithful retelling.

🎧 “Lost Notes” Podcast: The origin story of one of my favorite songs ever, “You Are Mine” by Jay Robinson, is nearly as gripping as the song itself—it was pulled from a box of demos at a little known record label in Columbus, Ohio. Similar story with Ted Lucas’s posthumously released album (note: the labels that released each, Numero Group and Yoga Records, are excellent resources for little-known gems, many of which I’ve added to my “lost ‘60s” playlist). I clearly have a thing for music nearly lost to history, which all goes to say I love the concept for this podcast docuseries, which covers “the greatest music stories never told.” So far, the latest season has delved into a court case centered on the word “mojo” and ‘Tainted Love.’ Semi-related three-minute listen: The story behind the song “Louie Louie” and its FBI investigation.

💿 ‘Only God Was Above Us’ by Vampire Weekend: It’s that time of year when artists release albums vying for the elusive, unofficial “Song of the Summer” title. FWIW, Beyoncé already won, but this new Vampire Weekend album is an instant-favorite for something mellower. I don’t understand half the references—alas, I was not a punk indie musician in New York in the early aughts, but middle schooler in Reno—but the sentimental, searching lyrics feel universally familiar. It’s easy to just release into it. As Ezra Koenig sings in “Capricorn,” “I know you're tired of tryin'/ Listen, baby, you don't have to try.”

P.S. You voted on our April Book Club pick on Sunday and selected The Sicilian Inheritance by Jo Piazza. I’m excited to read it with you all! Pencil in May 9th for our Zoom chat—details to come!

This is not (just) a story of how a few small changes completely turned around a shitty day recently. But it is a reminder that there are things we can do to lessen the impact of depressed¹, anxiety-ridden, and generally blah days.

For the past few weeks, I’ve been waking up hours before my alarm in a cold sweat—it’s as if my body has been working overnight to expel the stress and anxiety that’s been mounting each day. The experience is akin to waking up from being plunged into an ice bath, exhausted and depleted on every level. A lot of this can be explained by the fact that I’m living in the midst of a particularly stressful season: There are endless book and business to-dos, a therapy licensure exam in May, summer trips on the horizon, and approximately one million house projects in various stages of wrapping up. Many are exciting, yet it’s felt recently like the weight of the world is on my shoulders while an elephant is perched on my chest. Oh, I’m also signing my divorce papers today.

My coping mechanism during bad and stressful times has always been to turn inwards. I roll myself into a pill bug, knocking out tasks while spewing self-directed vitriol to do better, be better. I cancel plans, avoid feelings, and get the job done, often at my own expense. These days, I understand that the key is doing the exact opposite: Don’t close off, open up.

Whether I’m feeling awful from a night of not sleeping, depressed from hormones or divorce, stressed and anxious from work, or inexplicably blah on a weekend day, I’ve found that there are certain things that almost always help—while still holding space for the bad feelings. Even when I don’t believe they will work (it can be hard to glimpse the light from the depths of a bad mood), simply going through the steps below is often enormously helpful.² They aren’t a cure-all, and definitely aren’t a replacement for therapy or even medical interventions for some, but they’ve made a big difference in making even my worst days just a bit better. Below, I share my guide for turning around a bad day, and how I applied them to one last week: