Issue #140: Reflections From Signing My Divorce Papers Last Week

This is soil.

🎥 ‘Housekeeping for Beginners,’ in theaters: The premise centers on an unfortunately common tale: a family has to jump through legal hoops, informed by homophobia and xenophobia, just to stay together. In Macedonian director Goran Stolevski’s hands, it becomes an earnest tale, told through the lens of a chaotic household I couldn’t help but fall in love with. Other indie movies of note… I also saw ‘Sasquatch Sunset,’ which is completely ridiculous, but amusing, and have plans to see ‘La Chimera.’

💿 ‘The Tortured Poets Department’ by Taylor Swift: This album grew on me the longer I spent with it. It has fewer catchy bangers than ‘Midnights’ (there’s no “Anti-Hero” equivalent), but utilizes similar synth-y elements and creative storytelling—as in ‘evermore,’ Swift introduces a fictional couple that weaves into songs. It’s telling that I’ve had it on repeat all weekend—with “My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys” running through my mind the rest of the time.

🍝 Roasted Cabbage with Parmesan, Walnuts, and Anchovies: Before it becomes too ridiculously warm for something as hearty as roasted vegetables, I have to tell you about this recipe—which features such an addictive blend of salt and fat, over charred cabbage, that mine didn’t even make the journey from the sheet pan to my plate. I ate it hot, fresh off of the pan, relishing in every perfectly salty bite. I’m already strategizing how to best adapt it to grilling season (I set mine up this weekend!).

A few other recs… Funny Story by Emily Henry and The Paris Novel by Ruth Reichl are both out today. And, I was intrigued by the concept of “The Fallout,” but after enjoying the first fifteen minutes, it became too violent for me. I’m wimpy, so maybe you’ll enjoy it more?

P.S. Jo Piazza will be joining our April Book Club meeting to discuss her book, The Sicilian Inheritance. The event is free for all paid subscribers—link is below to attend!

The morning of my signing

If you’ve been reading Morning Person over the past few years, you’ve seen the dissolution of my marriage in real time, from moving out for a “trial” separation, to moving into my first solo apartment. I documented my effort to understand it as it was happening, sharing my breakdowns and regret, including the day I moved my things out of the house we bought together, and my slow, difficult progress toward healing. At times, it felt impossible. The weight of grief felt so heavy that I worried I would never find my way out from under it. For almost an entire year, I woke up every single night sobbing, until it was every other night, then every few days, and finally, almost never. Earlier this month, nearly two years after our initial separation in July of 2022, my ex and I signed our divorce papers. In the weeks leading up to our signing, I arrived at a new way of understanding things. I’m sharing this essay while it’s still fresh, in the hopes it helps anyone who has gone through a major breakup, or is in the midst of one now.

“It’s easy,” our lawyer said, before grimacing at her own word choice. She glanced offscreen, retrieving her mug of coffee.

It was early on a Monday morning and through my computer, I drank in the familiar face of my ex, slightly older but with the same messy bedhead I woke up next to for ten years. He looked both familiar and impossibly distant. I knew the name of his father’s Malamute from the ‘60s, immortalized in a sepia-toned photo behind him; that his own mug contained water, not coffee; but had no idea what he was thinking or how he had spent the past few months.